Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Be the Change

Tonight when I got home, I was scrolling through Facebook as I always do and saw a teacher friend's status that read "Sending prayers to all of Parkland. Way to close to home." Not knowing anything of the news, I commented and said "What happened? Another school shooting?" Just then my phone beeped and the news app informed me that seventeen people had been killed in Florida in a school shooting at the high school. This explained why my friend was posting, she lived and taught in Florida and had teacher friends and former students in the area. Upon reflection my comment to her seems rather insensitive, like I was not surprised by this. Perhaps this was insensitive of me to say it this way, or perhaps this speaks to the problem we are facing in this country, we have become desensitized to the problem of gun violence among people and young people and how it is affecting our world.

For whatever reason, school shootings often get the most attention when they occur, but these shootings are happening in many different settings. This became more prevalent to me when a few years ago while working at Macy's part time along with my teaching job, I was forced to go through training on what to do if an active shooter situation were to happen in my store. Never in all my years of retail working have I ever had to do this type of training in that setting. As a teacher, in our world today, I became used to the intruder drill and telling my children in the preschools I've taught in that we are "playing the quiet game" and hiding in the bathroom with them. I got used to the understanding that if G-d forbid anyone were ever to attack my school I would do anything I could to protect those children's lives, even if it meant giving up my own. Though no one wants to think of their own mortality in this way, I love my job and my children enough to confidently say I'd give my life for them...and most teachers I know would agree with that.

The problem of these mass shootings is in my opinion two fold. Problem number one lies in mental health. As someone who has struggled from depression and anxiety, and who at one point had no insurance I can tell you that finding reliable mental health services at an affordable rate is difficult. I was lucky and able to find a place that had interns that they used on a sliding scale pay rate where what you paid was based on your income. I was lucky. Not everyone is lucky enough to find a situation like this. And not everyone is lucky enough to have family and friends who help them recognize when they need help and how to get it. Many of the people who plan and carry out these plans of mass shootings are hurting inside, in so many cases interviews five, ten or twenty years later reveal that there were stories about violence written by the shooter or images that were found and so on. Parents and teachers need to be not only more aware of the signs of troubling behavior but also know how to respond and what resources their community has for them to get help. Secondly, on the subject of mental health we need to stop stigmatizing it. I have depression, I work a full time job, go to school, have a boyfriend and have a social life. Being depressed does not mean that these things don't happen. It certainly CAN mean that a person can't work, doesn't have good relationships with others and doesn't socialize (trust me I've been there as well) but the thing about mental health disorders is that they are blind, they don't have a look, you can not look at me and know I am depressed. People who are depressed are not all crazy, they are fighting with something inside of them that is stopping them from being their best self. When someone is battling these demons they are not always thinking in a clear fashion. They are not thinking about the impact that their actions may have on other people, they are thinking about what their actions can do to solve their hurt. This is why mental health resources are so important in this equation of helping to reverse the gun violence problems in our country.

The second part of the equation is far more tricky and controversial. This is the part that has to do with guns. Let me just say right now, I don't like guns, they scare me (but I also don't like fire...I am kind of a jumpy person) and I do not want to own one. However, I understand that the constitution has given us the right to bare arms. I am not saying that a person should not have the right to own a gun, I grew up in a town that enjoyed hunting season each fall (to the point where we had a day off of school for it). I understand that a trained member of the military or police force uses these weapons as a tool to improve our safety, and I respect that. I respect the person who feels they want to keep a gun in their home as protection in the event of a robbery or other dangerous situation in the home. However, I believe that stricter laws and more intensive screenings could help us in this goal to end gun violence in our schools, malls, movie theaters, churches and so on. In North Carolina according to wikipedia there are no state imposed restrictions on assault weapons, caliber restrictions and very few restrictions on carrying firearms. According to wikipedia, no permit is necessary to purchase a long gun but they are required to purchase a handgun. In North Carolina no owner license is required to own either a handgun or a long gun. I only did a quick google search on the subject and definitely do not consider myself an expert on the matter but I did not see mention of needing a background check before purchasing a gun except for with pistols. I am not here to debate gun control, I respect every persons right to believe what they want but the fact of the matter is if we do a more thorough check of who is attempting to purchase a gun and if they have an unstable past we can set ourselves on a path to end the violence we are seeing in our community spaces that have previously been considered "safe spaces".

As a five year old who dreamt of being a teacher, helping children learn to read, learn to add and learn the names of the states in our country, I never dreamed that I would have to add "willing to give up my life for students" to my job description. The sad reality is that in 2018 it is an unwritten part of the job. The same is true of many public service jobs where you have other peoples lives on your hands. Thankfully in my young teaching career I have not had to think about this, except when we are faced with yet another tragedy and I reflect thinking "what would I do if I were in those teachers shoes?" I know the answer, I knew it the day Victoria Soto was killed trying to protect the students she could not hide from the gunman who killed the students and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I knew that I would be just like her, if I was ever in that situation I knew I would do my best to hide my students, get them out or spend my time telling them how much they are loved and how much I loved and cared for them. This reality needs to end for us, we need to allow our schools and other public spaces to be considered safe spaces again. So many of our children experience uncertainty at home that they do not need to come to school and worry about this reality at school too.

One final thing I want to point out is the reaction of our lawmakers. In 2012 when the shooting occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary, President Obama at the time addressed the nation, in an interfaith service two days after the tragedy took place. Hours after the shooting occurred President Obama also briefly addressed the nation, as a president but also as a father who knows what love a parent has for their children and he empathized and shared in the grief of the families who had been impacted. Here we are six or more hours after news of the shooting occurred and what has President Trump done? He tweeted. Twice.
I'm not sure about anyone else but as an American, and as a teacher this doesn't console me. I can not imagine what the grieving community of Florida is feeling when they are faced with probably the biggest tragedy they have been directly affected by and the president of the country tweets his condolences. This may be my bias for the way President Obama spoke when he addressed the nation, but I personally feel no sincerity from these tweets. When President Obama addressed the nation after Newtown, Connecticut was grieving for their children and loved ones, you could feel the ache and sorrow he felt, you could feel that he was putting himself as a father in the shows of the dozens of families that were impacted by the shooting, you could feel him as he spoke as if he was trying to wrap all of us not just the victims families, in a big hug and tell us that we as a nation would get through this. When President Trump reacts this way, all it says to me is "I need to address this tragedy, but I really want to get back to golfing." It is time for our politicians to act, start with the mental health part of the problem and then face the gun part. We have got to do something for our children, for our teachers and for our society before this becomes even more commonplace then it already is.

Lastly, if you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help first if applicable reach out to your child's school counselor, teacher or social worker. If it is not a child in school, contact a local counseling service. Many of them will work with you on payment options. Finally, if you are in crisis of any kind you can always text 741741 to be in touch with a mental health professional, it is a free 24 hour text line. Shout out to my friend Kait the social worker for hooking me up with these tips! Let's be the change for our future! And to the families, teachers and staff at the school and all in the community who grieve, we are grieving with you as this is a great and unnecessary loss.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Mike and Karen: The Real Presidential Couple

Image result for mike pence in afghanistan
Mike Pence in Afghanistan. 12/21/17 (CNN.com)

While Donald Trump spends most weekends on the golf course at his resort in Mar-A-Lago there is an administration that still has to their work.  If he isn't golfing he spends his time lounging around the White House, occasionally signing a deregulation bill in the process.  Fox & Friends, executive time, and burgers in bed all constitute a day-in-the-life for the 45th President of the United States.  But what about Mike Pence?  If Trump is seen as one of the laziest Presidents on record then what does that do for his Vice President?  Trump may be the President, but Pence is really the lead guy between the two.